compass north

the chocolate cake was s smash hit. the only sugary part was the cream cheese frosting with powdered sugar since i didn't have any more sugar substitute. primary ingredients: zucchini, chestnut flour, almond flour, coconut, agave syrup. and you never would've known it didn't contain a trace of gluten or sugar.

yet this cake has done funny things to me. in the past year my creative side has run rampant in the kitchen and i've found myself delighting the taste-buds of many unsuspecting italians, baking away to see how they would react to such desserts as lemon-meringue pie, real american cheesecake, muffins, cupcakes, apple crisp and more. this has led me to foster fleeting ideas of an american bakery here in italy. and this new cake, along with the plethora of other healthful recipes which i've been finding in my research, have caused these fleeting ideas to become more solidified and well-defined: an american bakery which offers gluten and sugar-free options, both of which are lacking in italy. while my entrepreneurial side has reared its head more in my desire to tell others how they should run their businesses (poor mom when i visit home and the cafe), this time it's bitten me rather seriously. and i'm not quite sure how to approach this new desire which has been hanging around for quite some time, seeing my new age (25 - not sure how i like that number just yet), my educational background (political science and italian studies) and my current financial status (student loans: still lingering). this all leads me down a rather precipitous, soul-searching road, seeing as my vast desires have led me in many different directions, and knowing i've had many other ideas throughout the years as to what i want to spend my time doing long-term. those ideas, as much as they've not materialized, have brought me to this point. and sooner or later the compass has to point to north.

sometimes i feel trapped in a strange time warp in which for the united states i'm considered old enough to have long discovered my path in life, while by italian standards i'm far ahead of many youth who at my age haven't even graduated or left home. this has led me to the conclusion that i must disregard both concepts of time and continue to construct my own idea of gait and stride. i still haven't figured out "what i want to be when i grow up," but strangely, the more i grow up the less i feel so, as if maturity catches up with itself. i'm not the all-knowing person i assumed, as a young girl, that all 25 year olds are. i've come to see that there are some who still haven't discovered exactly what they want from life, but aren't sure it has to be just one thing. i'm willing to give myself time to discover exactly what it is i want to and should do. and if it turns out to be an american bakery in the middle of milan, i'd say, who would've thought.