today marks a month ago that i left the US, and so far it has all fit like a glove.
that's not to say that the past month has been without its potholes. i had problems with the apartment situation in the past week, since first i wasn't able to be in my room for two weeks, then, as it turns out, we are most likely not going to be able to stay here past the end of december. meaning: i either need to find a new place now, or i'll have to stay here til december and find a new place from january onwards, a near impossibility to find seeing as i would then only need to stay through june. the frustrations and drama over the apartment came not necessarily over the situation itself, but how it was handled and how i was told of the situation (or not told, as the case was). three days of drama, arguments, and sleepless nights finally gave way to an armistice that put us all more at ease until we could solve the problem. right now it stands that we're going to maybe try to go to the owner of the place and see if we can just stay here til june anyway, as was the plan before the owner pulled a fast one on everyone, though the owner wants to sell the apartment soon, so we still have no clue what's going to happen.
at the very least, my italian continues to get exercise on different topics, this time: apartments and contracts. this is what happens when contracts are "in nero" as they often are in italy... no one is really held to anything, and the owners can pull the rug up from under you when they want. plus, through this apartment mess i've met some great people, so i can't say it has all been negative. more than anything, i was so excited to be able to stay in one place for more than a few months, as has happened over the past few years, and to learn i might have to move again in a few months was really disappointing. i'm still keeping my fingers crossed that we can stay til june! for the moment though, i still have about 2/3 of my stuff in suitcases.
yet besides all that, i feel i'm finally getting some direction for the future. teaching/assisting so far has been an awesome experience. before starting i wasn't really sure what i would be doing exactly... what i do isn't necessarily actual teaching, but more assisting in many classes. i float around to different classes helping out with the english aspects of the lessons. so if the lessons range from sociology to catering, i do the english part, but always with the principal teacher there so i'm rarely by myself. i found that i absolutely love being up in front of a classroom. i think sometimes these kids have teachers that are a lot older than they are and are used to having to take a heavy hand with all of them because of the nature of the school (a professional school, so the students aren't as good, don't study as much, can be loud and noisy, and sometimes can be downright horrendous), so when someone younger comes in and can joke around and be fun and still teach them something, they have seeemed to respond. there have been a few classes that have been worse than others, one which was simply awful and which i probably won't be returning to, but for the most part the kids have been great. the people and teachers at the school are great as well, and i feel like i've already made friends with many. the best part is, discovering that i really love teaching opens up roads for the future that i was still unsure about.
besides working, i'm hopefully going to be able to volunteer at an association that does horse therapy with disabled children and adults, right in the center of crema. that'll take up a bit of time and be really good i hope. other than that, i've been traveling around, seeing old friends and new in trento, padova, peschiera, verona, and this coming weekend bologna, and generally just soaking up being here again.
the amazing part about my second time in italy thus far is that it didn't come with the same sense of awe and wonder that my first experience did. this time, i find myself less in awe, but also less afraid, less hesitant, less unsure. i waltz up to people and ask questions and make comments in italian like i never did before. i'm not taking myself quite as seriously this time, and i'm letting it all roll off my back more quickly. i find myself able to express myself more freely like i wasn't before, and my linguistic and personal barriers have fallen and continue to fall to the wayside. i feel like i know this place better now, and more fully understand how it ticks and moves, how it all works. seeing it all with a balanced view of the bad as well as the good gives me a more profound and realistic respect for this place, not an overly sugar-coated, gushing appreciation. it's like it all fits together this time, and the decisions i'm making are more serious, thoughtful decisions that reflect the fact that since being in italy last time, somewhere in there, i've grown up. this summer was good preparation for what was to come here, and taught me so much about letting go, about being myself, about accepting others and that which i cannot change, and just about being content where i am in a particular moment.
and even in uncertainty after uncertainty, there are a few little sureties that shine through: the people who love you unconditionally, true friendship, italian coffee, and gelato. these will rarely fail to impress.
